Desnookifying Animal Prints

Eat your heart out, Vinnie

I still remember the first animal print article of clothing I purchased- it's sort of like a coming of age experience that every Jersey girl needs to have. I decided to go the subtle route, with zebra capri pants, that I then proceeded to wear to my catholic school (on a "wear your own clothes day), forever justifying their staunch policy on why students should be forced to wear uniforms. The worst/best part about all of this, is that my mom CAME WITH ME, ENCOURAGED and BOUGHT these zebra capri pants, that I now desperately wish I still owned so that I could memorialize them in frame above my bed.

              Where is this story going?... Well, things were going fine for animal prints, until Snooki, who isn't even from new jersey and isn't even italian, RUINED EVERYTHING. So, animal prints have had it pretty rough the last few years. Thanks to Snooks, we all learned just how tacky, overdone, and whoretastic animal prints can be, when abused and coupled with ass cheek exposure. Now a girl, especially if from Jersey, can't even think about rocking her typical animal print couture for fear of being labeled the next "Snookie". (Although, to be honest, my research for this post made me realize that I own practically no animal print dresses, and desperately must rectify this situation, despite the criticism-- I'm like an animal print freedom fighter). Even if Snookie hadn't graced the world with her pickle loving poof, the recent obsession with cougars, would have caused just as many predatory stereotypes and critiques of my beloved animal prints. Now I know more than anyone, that animal prints have longevity, and they will RISE AGAIN in the good graces of fashion, but, in the meantime, I feel like animal prints should lay low for awhile, and here's how to do so. 

BCBGeneration "Metallic Animal Print Mini" Skirt
$34.99
on sale at www.macys.com

Anthropologie's "Panther's Play" Dress
$348
www.anthropologie.com 

American Rag "Strapless Sweatheart Printed Mini" Dress
$35.99
on sale at www.macys.com

Armani Exchange "Animal Print Sheath Dress"
$125
www.armaniexchange.com

Asos "Religion Leopard Print Dress"
$71.72
www.asos.com

Asos "Warehouse Animal Print Belted Dress"
$89.65
www.asos.com

SR Squared by Sondra Roberts "animal"
$108
www.piperlime.com

Madewell's "Pretty Plumes Skirt"
$69
on sale at www.madewell.com

Madewell's "Sketch Feather Dress"
$115
on sale at www.madewell.com

You're Welcome- my fellow animal print lovers