Being a girl is really hard, for reals, cause when we decide to go out we can't just throw on that shirt that was lying on your floor, put some water in our hair to smooth it down, and throw our wallets in the back pocket of our every day jeans. No, no we have to make it much more difficult than that for ourselves. First we need to take a shower long enough to wreak havoc on the environment and shave our legs, then style our hair (or weaves) with hairspray and heat damage, add enough concealer and eyeliner to look like someone different, hop around our rooms in order to pull our tight "going out jeans" up over our butt (maybe this is only a problem for me) and then reject multiple shirts, heels, and dresses before we find something that works. "This makes me look fat, this was so last year, I can't dance in this..." the last thing we do (after we are already ten-thirty minutes "fashionably" late), is try to stuff our essentials for the night in a bag before bolting for the door (assuming we can find our keys). And I have a lot of essential items that need to be carried on my person...
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| Digital camera to provide for years of future friend blackmailing |
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| My black card, THEY DON'T DENY THAT. Or my visa debit that I've painted black with nail polish to pretend that I'm a baller... grillz are optional |
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| CASH MONEY, in the case that I can't con someone into foolishly buying me a drink right before I escape into the crowd to avoid actually talking to them |
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| For cleaning up a dirty mouth, which is apparently important since my mom says I talk like a "truck driver" sometimes |
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| Mace in case you walk into a gang fight/bar fight... which is probably more of an issue in Harrisburg than I realize |
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| Usually essential to get back into the apartment without waking up your roommate... and to key the car of the person you don't like |
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| Can't get very far without a photo ID... which is essential because I still look like I'm 12 |
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| Gotta retouch the cat eyes |
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| So you can hit up all your bitches, or fake an incoming phone call to get out of talking to someone All these essentials take up A LOT OF SPACE, and I found that coach wristlet I used to carry around in college could not accomodate my phone, keys AND camera (and certainly not the can of mace)- which is always a difficult "which do I need most" last minute decision. Of course the thing you left behind, is always the one you actually end up wishing you had. Plus, the wristlet often ended up coming off my wrist, resulting in two broken cannon digital camera and one severely cracked iPhone screen... although, at least I could use this as an excuse for my continuous misspelling/autocorrect texting disasters.
I had an epiphany while walking around the Bloomingdales purse department pretending I have money (an act I achieve by showering/doing my hair, wearing 3 inch heels and faking an extremely judgemental face while I look at all the purses). Little did the older sales lady wearing too much makeup (ain't that always the case?) realize, that I was just there to say hello and admire my favorite Marc Jacobs bag that will ALWAYS be out of my price range.
Either way, the woman clearly noticed I had excellent taste, and pointed out a new, cute going out bag that Marc Jacobs put out this year. Apparently MJ understood my plight, and designed a really genius bag that has enough space to carry a phone and camera, and the right pockets to organize your black card, ID, and cash money for easy access. Of course I still don't have enough cash money for a going out bag that costs 200+ dollar bills (What happens if I drop it in beer, I'd be devastated!), but I learned a few things from MJ's design and came up with 5 rules for the perfect going out bag. |
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| Bianca Dreams of Monte Carlo Jane on a Chain Cross Body Bag $228 |
The 5 Golden Rules
1. One that can actually sit on your shoulder (For when you "Put your hands up, they're singing my song..."), but it fits close to your body (strap length roughly 20 inches or under). Many bags have straps that can be shortened enough to do this, and ideally have optional straps. I do have friends that use small cross-body bags, but they have to be fairly tiny and you run the risk of it swinging all over the place when you are "whipping your hair back and forth". I also love the look of clutches, but most of them are too small to carry everything and you get carpal tunnel trying to grasp onto it ALLLL NIGHT.
2. One that is small, ideally 9.5 inches long or less
3. Has adequate width and pocket space to accomodate everything. This only has to be 2-3 inches, if the bag is not very rigid and allows for some expansion.
4. Is inexpensive in case you do spill something on it (My goal is under $50)
5. Is still cute and is not covered with hideous Coach label C's
So ladies (or european men who love man purses) this is what I've found so far. I own the first one, and it's actually worked out incredibly well. There are certainly more options out there, but the best thing you can do is check them out in person.
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| Urban Outfitter's "Cooperative front Pokcet with Pouch with Strap" $38 available in 3 colors  |
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| Urban Oufitter's "Deux Luxe Basketweave Cross Body Bag" $39 available in 3 colors |
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| Urban Outfitter's "Deena & Ozzy Ruched Pouch Purse" $28 available in 3 colors |
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| Add caption |
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| Urban Outfitter's "Deena & Ozzy Buckle Clutch" $38 available in 2 colors |
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| Urban Outfitter's "Cooperative Turnlock Wristlet Pouch" On sale $29.99 available in 2 colors |
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