Oscars 2011: Mirror, mirror, on the wall- who's the shiniest of them all?

So, I suppose people expect me to say my piece about the Oscars and to follow what everyone is wearing. Personally, I don't care unless a dress is particularly unique or particularly shimmery. So I'm choosing to focus purely on who wore the best sequined, metallic, blinged out dress... and lucky for me, there were quite a few celebrities who share my love for all that is shiny. But who was the best you may ask?... well scroll down my pet

I feel for Jessica Biel, her love life is in shambles, but the girl pulls it together. She's clearly trying to brown nose her way into my good graces with both GOLD AND SILVER, but I dig it. Plus it looks amazing on her. 

Super Shiny, Super Gold, but she's sort of annoying me lately
with all her love songs when she's like 10
and doesn't know anything about love, so she gets a C+

Well this is awkward, how'd that get in there?

Perez Hilton described Amy Adams as "bathed in sequins", and the description instantly attracted my attention, as I hope to one day be worth of such a description. The dark blue is quite stunning, and clearly she's having no problem luring her male counterparts... but I hate the cap sleeve... A-

Heidi Klum, sweetie, you're giving me seizures with all those flashing lights

Emma Roberts- I love this dress. I don't know much about you, I could maybe love you- just don't get all teeny bopper on me and start snorting coke and flashing your netherparts, okay?  This has a level of shine and sophistication I didn't expect from you... you get an A 

Anne Hathaway, you're a jersey bitch, which is why I love, and I do love this silver. But I prefer my dresses not to look as though they are in need of a hair cutt/clean shave... you get a B+

Halle Berry, you look ephemeral and quite lovely,  even if there's a lot of crazy behind that smile... A

Hailee Steinfeld (apparently her parents only believe in spelling her name phonetically) This girl annoys me, I don't really know why she's famous, and her dress would be cute if it was the prom in 1967... or if it wasn't on her. You get a B- purely because I am biased against you, but at least I'm honest about it 

I love it all- appropriately shiny and glamorous...

my final decision...

Gwenyth Paltrow, I know, I surprised even myself. I kind of think she's a stuck up BI... well you get the point. But there is something so clean and chic about this dress, that I can't quite pull myself away from. It fits her perfectly, and I want it immediately.